Learn to Complete The Stress Response Cycle

We live in a world with modern problems, but ancient nervous systems. When we resolve our stressors now a days, our bodies don’t always know the threat is gone. Learn to give your lizard brain what it needs to release your tension and let you get back to enjoying life.

1) Move Your Body

Your body expects you to move away from threats. So even if the “threat” is an email or being annoyed at socks on the floor, again, tell your body you’re safe now by letting it move. Run, swim, dance, skip, jump up and down, anything that helps you breath a little harder.

Aim for at 20-60 mins of movement any day you experience stressors (so, basically all of them).

2) Breathe

Long, focused breaths help your body identify that you aren’t being chased and you are at rest.

Start by emptying your whole chest, then breath in to completely fill your chest and stomach for 5 whole seconds, hold for 5 seconds, and release to completely empty your lungs again, and wait 5 seconds before breathing back in. Repeat for ~5 cycles.

3) Physical Affection: These ones require a consenting partner

Remind your body you are in a loving safe place by connecting with someone safe and trusted physically. Hold on to these just a little longer than you might otherwise, until you feel your body release its tension.

Try a 6 second kiss, or a 20 second hug. If you have the time and inclination, sexual connection can also complete the cycle.

4) Positive Social Interaction

Let your body feel like you’ve escaped and returned to your people by connecting with others.

Call a friend, get a coffee with a co-worker, compliment the barista, comment on the weather today in the elevator, send a meme to your sister who always replies back with a paragraph of text that makes you laugh.

5) Cry

Give yourself the space to let everything out with a good cry. It’s not weak. It’s a built in natural response to being over stimulated and overwhelmed.

If you see a little kid hurt themself or get scared and have a quick cry, they’re right back to playing. No further worrying, just back in action. Because they’ve dealt with their stress and are ready to move on.

You deserve that peace too. Try a cry.

If you want to find out more how stress lives in your body and what to do about it, all of this information and so much more can be found in:

Burnout:The Secret of Unlocking the Stress Response Cycle by Dr. Emily Nagowski, PhD

Simple Cookies for Complicated times

Three Ingredient Cookies

Sometimes when things feel overwhelming, getting anything done feels impossible. There is so much that exists outside of my control and so much I wish I could change. A lot of the work I do is long term, or depends on other people, or is easily undone by changing structures that seem to be changing faster than I can keep up with them.

I personally find cooking to be a practical way to see that my efforts do produce tangible, meaningful change in the world around me. In this case if I have what I need in my pantry, about 15 minutes from thinking “It sure would be nice if I had a cookie right now,” I can be eating a cookie. That’s because this base recipe only has 3 ingredients and you only need a bowl, a fork, an oven, and a baking sheet or two to get started.

Basic Ingredients:

• Nut butter of your choice (1 Cup)

• An egg (preferably large)

• Sugar (1 cup)

Basic Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350F

• Mix ingredients together in a large bowl

• Drop roughly 2-tablespoon sized portions of dough onto a baking sheet, leaving a little room between each cookie in case of spreading

• Bake for about 8-12 minutes until edges are just set and let cool completely before enjoying

Like most things in life, you can add more complexity to these cookies if you want to. I usually do. Along with the conscious choices I put with intention into these cookies, I also bring a bunch of habits and preferences that have evolved with me throughout my life. This what my actual recipe looks like when I make it:

Holly’s Ingredients:

1 Cup Jiff Creamy Peanut Butter, because that’s what my dad always bought

1 Large Pasture Raised Egg, because when they were out of the cheapest eggs one time I tried a nicer box of eggs and thought I could notice a difference and I’m not scraping by as much anymore financially and it makes me feel less like I’m contributing to abusive animal farming practices even though I’m aware this is likely false and I still eat meat anyway

1/2 cup brown sugar because I like my cookies to be chewier

1/2 cup white sugar because I still like my cookies to have enough structure to not completely crumble when I pick them up

A splash of vanilla because I think it adds something to the final product

An unmeasured, assortment of at least 3 kinds of chocolate chips, various sizes and levels of sweetness

No chopped nuts because my grandfather couldn’t have them without it causing issues for his teeth so my mom never baked with them and I didn’t grow up having them in baked goods she made and find the texture off putting now

I follow the same basic directions with a little preference for the mixing order (sugars + egg + vanilla, mix, add peanut butter, mix, add chocolate chips, mix). I also rarely totally wait for the cookies to cool before taking a tester bite. This results in my finger tips getting a tiny bit burnt, and the chocolate to still be molten and the structure of the cookie to be unsound so I have to rush it into my mouth like a little blob of cookie lava.

If your personal journey leads you to other substitutions and additions, good. You are your own person and deserve a recipe that works for you. Maybe you’re vegan and I don’t know what the ideal egg substitute should be so I didn’t recommend one, but you still feel like you would like to make something so you find your own recipe for a vegan cookie. Make you’re allergic to peanuts so you find a different nut butter, but maybe the fat content is different and the second time you try to make them you add a little extra sugar so they don’t spread out quite so much this time. Maybe you really don’t like chocolate, but you think toffee bits would go great in these. Everyone else’s opinion is a starting point. Enjoy your cookies.